Today, I will helpfully throw down the facts on movies currently out there in movie-watching places. I have seen all of them, not a joke*.
The American
Dramatis personae:
Machete
The moving story of one man’s personal quest for justice and mass disembowelment.
Eat Pray Love
In this movie, Julia Roberts does the following things.
Piranha 3D
This movie has an unusual premise. Once the patrons have taken their places in the theater, the doors are welded shut and water begins to pour in — first a trickle, then a deafening roar. Moviegoers can watch in horror as the lower levels of seats are engulfed in the torrent. Next, mobs of live piranhas are released into the water. In their final moments, viewers have described it as “A truly immersive cinematic experience,” and “Glug glug, scream.”
Inception
Some people think this is a complex movie. In fact, it’s very simple. A few notes:
Scott Pilgrim vs. The World
As far as I can make out from the posters, it’s about holograms.
Nanny Macphee Returns
In a cloud of fire and warts. And yea, then there will come the Final Judgment, and the world will be purged.
*Actually a joke.
